Hypothesis

I have a theory about relationships, whether friendship or love or enmity (Okay, maybe not enmity). Well, basically the feeling of knowing someone. Like when you feel the closeness between the two parties. Like you don't feel awkward around that person. Or when suddenly the one closes to you feel like the one most alien to you. It really is mind blowing.

They say a true friend is when you can sit together in silence and not feel awkward at all.

But how deep is the relationship before you can consider that person a true friend?

I believe there are several level of relationship in the whole process of getting a true friend.

There is like a few crests and troughs if the whole process of relationship is plotted as a graph.
(Note: trough is the highest point and crest is the lowest point.)

Well, allow me to explain. During the 1st Encounter, we normally view the outer appearance of the person. So we quickly making assumptions and either view the person negatively or positively. So assuming we survive the 1st Encounter and get to know the person better like family background, likes/dislikes, hobbies/interests (yeah basically just get to know the person on the surface), the level of closeness moves up a notch and arrive at the first trough.

Then the relationship normally disintegrate and moves on to the crest or just die off all together. Why? Most common reasons are time, like going on for so long without meeting the person again. Or no common interest. Conversation just die, see? Or maybe even bad impression on the 1st Encounter.

Then if the relationship survive again, the closeness level increases to even a greater magnitude. This is due to when we continue to meet up with the person, and basically share common beliefs and interests. Then slowly, a bond of trust is formed. Then at the top of the 2nd crest, we have already established the fact that you and the person are normal friends. You don't really feel completely awkward or elusive around the person.

Then the level of closeness takes an enormous dip. This is when you discover something totally alien or maybe the person or even you backstabs each other.

What I meant when I say you discover something totally alien is when the relationship really gets personal. REALLY. You start to find out all the things about the person on the personal level. How do I say this? Like you find that the person hates it when you smack their back. Or the type of character that they have that you don't like or vice versa. Or like either of you have an inferiority perspective of each other (Like he/she is greater than you in studies, carreers or popularity). Or like you feel that friend has ditched you to hang out with cooler people.

Backstabbing, you know whats it like, so enought being said.

The possibility of bringing the relationship back is extremely low. The factors that helps bring the relationship back are mainly revolves around you. Will you actually find the guts to forgive them? Or will you have the valor to continuosly love the person unconditionally? This is what a true friend is.

The thing that makes the level of closeness ever escalating is when the relationship becomes mutual. Both share to each other the thoughts and give and take criticism. Both working together for any purpose. Both helping each other in time of need or even when there is no need. That is called being a nuisance but those who are being a nuisance normally cares a lot for you. (Or because they are jealous)

In the end, a relationship that survive all the toils and tribulation is a relationship that is definitely worth fighting for.

I am not a professor but just a 17 year old kid who based this theory on experience. But it is a theory nevertheless. A theory remains a theory in the end unless proven with sufficient evidence. Then it becomes a law.

I hope this doesn't bore you to death and wouldn't blame you if you discontinue reading halfway through. If you read it all the way to the end, then congratulation to you for understanding what goes on in my head a little better.

Dislike does not say it all...

abhorrent

abominable

anathematic

defamatory

despicable

detestable

execrable

fastuous

flagitious

hateful

heinous

invidious

loathsome

nauseous

objectionable

obnoxious

odious

opprobrious

outrageous

repellent

repugnant

repulsive

vile

These words defines what I feel towards myself... characteristically.

Fate is a joke, and the joke's is in your hand.

Went to KLpac today for some workshop of some sort. HAHA. At least its not a complete waste of time like now. =D

YF was great today. Haha. Guess Eugene did pull it off pretty well. Worship too was great but got a lot of unfamiliar songs... heh! At least the words are not completely without meaning.

Class was great too. Jason Lim somehow manage to pull it off too with Genesis 22 and 23. Heh. Don't get me wrong, I may not look interested, but I pay a lot of attention. Like Sarah was the only woman recorded in the Bible for her age when she died. Or salvation may be free, but it is not cheap. So let's not make it cheap by sinning again and again.

After class was the eat out thingy to celebrate the effort and success of YEM and Youth Sunday. Big Apple Donuts sure are heavenly. Jealous much?

Then had sort of meeting with Anderson and Sarah about the YF Group on facebook. Haha. Anderson is such a clown. He brought his laptop and wanted to connect to the WiFi at our church to get onto the YF Group website. So he was like searching for the hot spot. The dumbest thing is we set up our "base" in the middle of the car park where the rest of the youths were playing captain ball all around us. Haha. Sarah was like updating her status on facebook saying "Sarah is sitting in the middle of a car park now" or something like that. In the end, the great plan didn't materialise into reality cause facebook was down or something. (More like Anderson's laptop too old?)

So all in all, today was a great day. But then opposite feelings comes in sequence. So yeah. Guess I am emo and all. Sense of foreboding..

Geros dienos! (Lithuanian)

Its finally over, the end of the beginning.

Yeah~ so the trials came and went, and finally, it is over.

CONGRATS KEEN KING!!! FOR SCORING 87% FOR ADD MATHS!!!

I'll be lucky to get even half of that. Hehe. Don't get me wrong, I am good at the logical stuff. But I need to be push.... a lot to succeed in my studies. And thanks to my set 1 teacher,
Mr Siva, I wasn't. Yeah, so I've heard, I am downright lazy.

Oh well, haha, today, I, Jun Yu and Whye Shon went to cyber cafe after school. Played there for 3 hours! What a good way to waste time. Anyway, the funny thing is, we were all hungry by the time we finish playing. And at that time was buka puasa. So as you've guess, everywhere was pack. From KFC to mamak. That's when us geniuses decided to eat the ever-so-non-halal Bah Kut Teh. Haha.

Holidays started. Tomorrow is study leave so it is consider a holiday. Hehe. This time I am resolve to study... I hope. No, I must.

My mom had a minor accident today. Haih....

Lai jums laba diena! ( Latvian)

Frustration and the collision.

I sat in the exam hall,

With that blank look on my face.

All I can do is stall,

And just go through the phase.

*

I really have no idea,

What the question is asking about.

I felt something like fear,

As my brain decided to checked out.

*

So all I could do is blindly shoot,

And pray that I won't be wrong.

I really wanted to swear *tooot*,

Cause I felt like a big ding dong.

*

The only thing that relief me,

Was the people sleeping around.

It seems they too have wandered free,

From the questions that holds us aground.

*

Hence, if I get any high marks,

You know I don't deserve it.

So please save your remarks,

I don't want to hear them, not one bit.

*

All I can do is hope for SPM

And pray they'll not lose my papers.

For if they did, it will be the end

Of the great Jon the Dazer.

With great power comes great responsibility...

And with greater responsibility,

the more freedom you lose.

And that's a fact.

I dunno la, my parents keep nagging at me to wear better clothes to go to church. "Sunday Best" so to speak. My mom was like persistantly tried to dissuade me:

Mom: If you were to meet the Sultan, would you go to the palace dressing like that?
Me: No, but thats because that king care for the outward appearance. But my King cares
for whats on the inside.

Obviously knowing she lost, she kept on trying other methods. This time trying a different tact.

Mom: You know in Matthew 22, Jesus told a parable about the wedding feast and the king
who held the wedding feast cast this person out into outer darkness, where there shall
be weeping and gnashing of teeth for not wearing wedding garments. So what do you
think about that?
Me: Obviously, if you truly understand the parable, Jesus was implying on inward
righteousness as wedding garment not physical clothes. Think about this, the wedding
feast is The Kingdom of God, and the people are invited are anyone. So do you really
think is it justified for someone to be kick out of The Kingdom of God if all he did was
not wearing his "Sunday Best" ?

1 Samuel 16:7b

Man looks at the outward appearance,

but the Lord looks at the heart.

So yeah there you go, well then of course as parents normally do when they are being outsmarted by their child, they go and blame me for all the other wrong things like not studying for exams. Hehe. Thank God for today's sermon. Failure is the backdoor of success.

Yeah, I know, I know. Sooner or later I would get greater responsibility and hence I need to set the example by wearing my "Sunday Best". Heh! But I really think that what is in your heart that counts. What do you feel for God. Is it genuine? Is it humble? Is it not to please others by wearing expensive clothes, branded shoes, posh handbags?

So how then do we actually see in a person that he is a true follower of Christ? By his conduct. His attitude. His good works. Mengamalkan nilai amanah. So to speak. That's what really counts.

Like the Pharisees, teachers of the Law... What are they? Hypocrites. Look how they plot and scheme to kill Jesus just to save their face.

Oh, and on the way back from church today, my mom tried to continue persecuting interrogating me and started talking about being a person with responsibilities and its benefits. Telling me about the things you must do in order not to stumble younger believers and stuff like that. I told her that I have no responsibilties currently, I'm not a commitee member of YF, I'm not the regular role model, I'm no mentor, so why should I concern myself with my attire and other stuff. Well, I know a time will come when I have to do these things but the fact is, the time has not come. So I say enjoy the moment when you're still free and unburdened by the ever-so-oppressing thing called responsibility.

Hehe, don't get me wrong. I don't hate my mom for telling me all these stuff. In fact, I enjoy them cause it is an opportunity for me to prove to them that I can think for myself. May sound a bit selfish but hey, that's what I feel. See, arguments are good. After arguing, it sort of gives you a firm grasp of the obvious.

So yeah, argue to the max! It helps increase your brain activity but unfortunately can either break or stregthen relationship. It's a double edge sword so to speak.

Die dulci fruere! (Latin)

Dealing with emotions and other stuff.

Emotions sometimes short-circuit the cool, logical reasoning of the neocortex. Massive emotional overload.

In the past, emotions have been measured in humans by their physical expression, such as blushing, smiling or accelerating heart rate.

Emotions are generated by the limbic system: a collection of structures such as the hippocampus and the amygdala, which lie beneath the cerebral cortex. Emotions are associated with different types of neural impulses. So the only way its to measure nerve impulses of someone experiencing a normal set of daily emotions is by accessing it directly to the brain. But then again, how can you register happiness in someone whose cranium has been opened up?

So it is impossible to be scientifically certain we have emotions. Or the other advance and evolved emotions.

Opposite emotions often come in sequence.

Guilt, the uncomfortable, unsettling feeling you get when you're considering betraying someone's trust. Why has guilt evolved? From constant worrying.

Love, a most manipulative device.

Stress weakens the immune system; high frequency anger put major strain on the heart. In fact, an angry temperament is a better predictor of premature death than all the fashionable culprits like smoking or cholesterol.

***

Games are models of rational interaction. They're full of suprises and paradoxes, certainly: bound to be with the circular reasoning they require. But the truth is not all games are meant for fun.

***

A lie could enhance status even more than a truth, so long as it was sufficiently imaginative. This is extremely true.

***

The trouble with acting is that you're so busy lying and faking and generally fooling everyone-including yourself- that when suddenly the a truth appears in that great mountain of deceit, it's pretty much impossible to see it.



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3 Golden Rules. state 15 weird things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself. The 10 people I tag are to then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.. No tag backs.

1 I am shy and you'll think its a lie
2. As you can see from No.1, I started liking poetry.
3. I have autophobia, cyclophobia, athazagoraphobia, apeirophobia aaaand phobophobia.(Go figure)
4. Lazy. (Allow me go into details, I don't study for exams untill the night before.)
5. Enjoy doing nothing and observing the day passing by... Sounds like No. 4...
6. Loves acting.
7. Practically good at sports because of gifted hand-eye coordination.
8. The face that makes people laugh. So as my classmates have told me.
9. Prefer to make quality friends and not quantity.
10. Loves random facts and jokes. Well, basically just randomness.
11. Find joy in the joy of others.
12. Virgin lips. Yeap. My first is still with me.
13. Assimilate well in many cliques. (Nerd, Cool, Wacky, Serious *not so much*, Old, Young,
Cam-Whorers.) The only one type of clique I can't go with flow is Chinapeklalas.
14. A sentimental person at heart.
15. Hmmm... To discribe me guess would take more than 15 points. So ask me yourself la. ^^

Me tag :
Kit Meng
Keen King
Larissa
Well, actually I don't really wanna bother anyone. So this goes out to those who wants share bits and pieces of their life to us.

Sheyihiye lach yom na'im!! (For women)
Sheyihiye lecha yom na'im!! (For men) (Hebrew) See? Jews are so sexist.